Storytelling Practitioner: Toss Out Expired Stories

A story that was perfect for you once doesn't have to stay perfect for you forever.

Digging through my refrigerator and pantry the other day, I came upon some expired products. These finds are not a unique experience for most of us; there always seems to be that one thing in the back that we just forget about. While some products do well when they age for a bit, others really do become useless.

We store tales, anecdotes and story bits in our mind, too. Have you dug through your stories lately? Take a moment to clear out your own story-storage.

Do you have some stories that have expired? They could look like some of the following.

Do you have stories that you "borrowed" from other artists for which you intended to get permission to tell but never got around to it? Maybe when you started out in your storytelling career, you usurped borrowed these stories while you developed your own.  Now is the time to let go.  Don't eat the last remains in the crusty jar of home-made strawberry jam your friend gave you some time ago. Toss out that perished sweet and learn to make your own. It's not difficult to learn to make your own jam or stories.

You might have some stories you don’t really remember well. Some left-over meatloaf in your icebox can be used to create a fine sandwich, but when you have to ask yourself, "Wait, when did we make this?" it might be time to let go of the loaf. Most storytellers in any setting have bits and pieces of stories they may have told once or twice. Either make a feast with them (my book on that subject) or let them go and clear out some space in your mind. If you like the metaphysical aspect of discussions of storytelling: know that a story might choose you. It might choose to leave you, too. Don't hang on.

Do you have stories that (in a once-upon-a-time stage of your life) fit your lifestyle and beliefs but now when you tell them they just leave you uncomfortable? Like expired food in your fridge, do these old stories still pass the "sniff test?" Old chicken and old stories can both poison you.  Toss them if they aren't right. You can always get more poultry just as you will always get new stories.

Some other expired stories in your life might also include:

• The personal stories (family or life-event stories) that you tell but yet you know (deep in your artist's soul) that the story really isn't a story.  You created the story just to fill time, perhaps, but in truth it is stilted and forced. It's probably expired, toss it. 
• The stories about the lives and hijinks of your family members might also be expired if you tell them without the family member's permission.  Your stories of your cute kids might come back to bug you when those cute kids realize you've been yacking about them just to make a buck at a school show.
• Any story that uses any type of cultural stereotype unless it is of your own cultural heritage and you are guiding the audience through to a better understanding of that culture. This includes, most likely, anything you have ever heard from a youth-leader who had a book of "101 Great Campfire Stories."
• The stories in your life that manipulate your audience. Take the hint: that spoiled can of chicken soup you feed to your guests will make them retch after a while.

Stories do expire. Toss them out of the pantry of your repertoire. Don't tell every story you know.

et cetera: For more about "borrowed stories," see Lynn Ford's good article regarding permission at this link here. For more about salvaging cheesey personal stories (if you really want to save them), see my workshop/book here. Mark Goldman also has an interesting take on "leftovers" from his newsletter, too. For more in my "hardcore storytelling practitioner" series, click this link now.
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The is the official blog for K. Sean Buvala, storyteller and storytelling coach.

About Sean: From the DaddyTeller™ Site.

(Here's the bio page from my new DaddyTeller™ book.I hired a professional write, Durga Walker, to create it for us. )

K. Sean Buvala is a Trainer, Corporate Coach, and Speaker. But first and foremost, he’s a Storyteller.

If you’re anything like me, this word evokes images of rapt little faces gathered round the yarn-spinner, mouths agape, hanging on every word. It should. Storytelling is an art that appeals to the deep emotional memory in all of us. Unlike motivational speaking, which seeks to uplift the listener and spur to him action, storytelling strengthens our powers of creativity and problem solving by drawing on our own imaginations.

In short, storytelling conveys information in a way the listener will never forget.

In 2007 Sean Buvala was presented the Oracle Award by the National Storytelling Network for his work in the promotion of storytelling, including the development of Storyteller.net, an online goldmine of resources for storytellers and their audiences alike.

His work as a trainer and coach in the corporate word demonstrates his ability as a master storyteller. On the premise that good leadership requires strong communication skills, good storytelling techniques and the ability to convey information with impact, Sean designs workshops and seminars specifically for corporate groups, where he trains leaders to lead more effectively by improving their storytelling abilities. Here, he teaches real skills—not theory—that corporate management can implement immediately. In executive-level workshops that identify what already works for the company and what needs fixing, participants are shocked to see dramatic improvement in their public-speaking and leadership abilities.

Now Sean has applied his years of experience as a storyteller—and, not incidentally, father—to a project designed to help Dads convey valuable information to their own children. DaddyTeller: How to be a Hero to Your Kids and Teach Them What’s Really Important By Telling Them One Simple Story at a Time is a step-by-step e-book guide for teaching Dads to become storytellers for their kids.

As the father of four daughters, Sean knows this subject intimately. Based on the premise that any father can learn to tell his children stories that convey values and ethics to his children, DaddyTeller offers nine simple stories (eight plus a bonus) aimed to turn story time into a meaningful and loving experience for both parent and child.

Beyond the book, Sean provides ample support, not just for Dads but for anyone who wants to learn to tell a story with impact. His video clips and audio files are abundant. Watching him perform is inspiring, and even if all you do is watch, I guarantee you’ll tell your next story with just a touch more panache.

Sean describes his own style as somewhere between “in your life and in your face,” depending on his audience, and he has ample opportunity to adjust his approach. In addition to his work with teenagers, he is an expert presenter for corporations, teachers’ groups, colleges and universities, nonprofits, and faith-based organizations. His expertise includes communication and presentation skills, group dynamics, arts marketing, theatrical training, ministry management, and entrepreneurial development, to name but a few.

As a storyteller, he travels to where the need is, performing in schools and libraries, nonprofit groups, businesses and corporations, festivals, and churches—anywhere people will gather round the yarn-spinner. Using myths and legends, fables, sacred stories, and observations about life, Sean chooses stories that speak to the specific needs of each group

A group with needs was, in fact, exactly where Sean Buvala got his start 23 years ago, in a classroom of wild eighth graders on a very wild day. Desperate, he called out over the din, “Once upon a time....”

A hush settled over the room.

“I grabbed the first kid,” he says. “I led him to the front of the classroom and said, ‘Once upon a time, there was a man who had two sons....’”

He grabbed the next two boys and placed them next to the first one, where they became the sons. In turn, he brought each child up to be cast as an actor in the story. And the rest is, well, history.

-- by Durga Walker




The official blog for K. Sean Buvala, storyteller and storytelling coach.